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Jrep
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September 2013
The Act of Quitting Fri, 25 October 2013 21:33
The habit of quitting games is a phenonomen that is rarely experienced in the boardgame version of Smallworld. It seems like the social consequences associated with quitting is just a bit too much to bear for most of us. In contrast, theres evidence that the the act of quitting isa common practice in the online version of Smallworld. Some fear that quitting is becoming more and more like a pasttime itself in the game of smallworld. Among the community theres as common misunderstanding that the act of qutting is a simple and crude act of bad sportsmanship. As this text develops I will show you that the act of qutting isnt as simple as it seems at first glance. I will also thoroughly explain the horrible consequences that are associated with the act of qutting that community is unaware of.

As acts of quitting has never before been an issue for the Smallworld community it makes perfect sense that Days of Wonder havent put any serious effort in telling us about what will surely happen if quitting becomes a habit. There have been discussions of including this information in the rules booklet for smallworld but in the end it didnt happen. Therefore I feel obliged to share the information I have, even though I know it might disturb some of you. Let me begin.

Back in 1308 the famous italian poet Dante Alighieri started to work on his epic poem
Inferno in which he depicts the different circles of hell and what you have to (not) do to get there. The basic idea is that the worse you do in life the further down circles of hell you go when you die. At this point youre probably wondering why Im talking about a poet thats been dead for nearly 700 years. Well Im doing it because Dante was a forseeing man and not long before his death he actually made a parallell poem where he in detail describes where different the different types of quitters of Smallworld end up. I bet youve got interested now didnt you?

Thanks to Dantes brilliant insights and thanks to the italian board game entusiast who found Dantes long lost scripts were now able to have a peak at what awaits quitters in the life after this. If the great Dante hadnt spent his precious time on this many casual Smallworld players wouldve had a nasty surprise awaiting right after leaving this world. Before I start the presentation I would like to remind everybody that the visit in hell continues for an eternity so it might be an idea to give my following writing a thought or two.

The 1st circle of Dantes inferno starts with Limbo which is a light version of hell. Unfortunately quitters have little hope of ending up here as their way of acting is just too heinious. Because of this lll just skip this part. Now on to the different kinds of quitters!

The forced quitter
This type of quitter is forced to quit the game by external forces. Usually the external force is a girlfriend, boss, kid or anyone who thinks that their business is more iportant than you playing boardgames. Many may feel that things that lies out of our control takes away a bit of your personal responsibility. Thankfully Dante confirms that the punishment is not as harsh as for the other types of quitting. Still it involves a punishment, more presicely: Youll end up in the second circle of hell!

How your eternal vacation in the second circle of hell will be like:
Bad! Your soul will be blown around by a terrible wind leaving your existence as aimless as that time when your grandma tried to play Smallworld.

The instant quitter
Some people seem to push the quit button even before you had the chance to get the faintest glimpse of race + special power slide. The reasons for this rapid quitting is always a mystery that you’ll never get the answer to. Thankfully Dante has an answer: They end up in the third circle of hell.

How your eternal vacation in the third circle of hell will be like:
Bad! Your soul will be forced to lie in a vile slush produced by a ceaseless foul, icy rain!

The overwhelmed quitter
Have you ever got that diffuse feeling just after scoring 21 pts the third time in a row that you maybe should slow your progress a bit to avoid a sudden quit from your less sucessful competitor? Then that diffuse feeling suddenly comes true when you see the green connection indicator of your competitor turns brown. In his poems, Dante writes extensively on the sinful act of quitting midgame and gives these kinds of quitters a very special place in the fourth circle of hell.

How your eternal vacation in the fourth circle of hell will be like:
Bad! Youll be forced to push huge bags with money against other dudes that pushes huge bags with money against you.

The complaining quitter
When people start to use software glitches and bugs as an excuse to quit to you know that youve encounterd a more sophisticated breed of quitter. These guys usually takes quitting into the mid- or late phase and just before leaving the game they inform you that the game is flawed. Ive already told you what Dante writes about mid game quitting. What he writes of late game quitting doesn't need further explanation.. Off to the fith circle of hell for these guys!

How your eternal vacation in the fitfh circle of hell will be like:
Bad! Youll be withdrawn into a black sulkiness which you can find no joy in! Its no better on watersurface as people are constantly fighting there.

The calculating quitter
The game has been going on for 8 rounds and you have the feeling that the score is going to be tight but that its still in your favor. The difference might be no more than 3 pts you think to yourself, still you're sure it's in your favor.. Then at the ninth round your evenly match opponent suddenly disappears! You pray that it's because of lag and taht he'll soon be back. After 5 minutes of waiting and no sign of green in his connection indicator you get the feeling that lag didn't cause this unexpected disapearance. Dante writes no loving words about the people who commit quitting late game and does it in a calcualtive manner. Its the sixth circle of hell for you guys!

How your eternal vacation in the sixth circle of hell will be like:
Very bad! Youll be trapped in a flaming tomb for all eternity. As the general theme of hell isnt all that pleasurable i'm guessing that the that the tomb might be a bit claustrophobic too!


So thats it. Thats were all the quitters of Smallworld go after this life. If youre an honest gamer I guess youre thinking to yourself that there is some justice in this world after all. But hey wait some of you knowledgable gamers say! Doesn't Dantes inferno consist of 9 circles of hell? The idea of quitters only reaching the sixth level is quite disappointing isnt it? Well hold on I say, Dante has has an answer for this too.

It seems that the further a Smallworld gamer climbed the ranking ladder, the more despicable the act of quitting becomes. The deepest levels of hell are reserved for those who hold the most prestigious ranks while commiting the act of quitting. Dante was simple man and he had no interest in complicating his description any further so he simply stated that:

People ranked at 1600 pts will reach the seventh circle of hell.

How your eternal vacation in the seventh circle of hell will be like:
Very bad! Boiling in blood while other people are shooting arrows at you would be considered pleasurable for few.

People ranked at 1700 will reach the eight circle of hell.

How your eternal vacation in the eight circle of hell will be like:
Extremely bad! Being whipped by demons while being covered in human excrements is not something you would want to happen to you even for a minute, least for an eternity

People ranked at 1800+ will reach the ninth and last circle of hell

How your eternal vacation in the ninth circle of hell will be like:
Horrible! I can tell you involves a lot of ice and that satan is joining you, the rest you have read for yourself. I recommend that you try not to end up here, which by the way is a general recomendation for all circles of hell.

So this is it. I guess a lot of what has been written here is completely new for most of you and the content is definitely shocking. Few of us have made the connection with quitting games in Smallworld and ending up in hell! Hopefully more of us will give it a thought after reading this. On the bright side, this fearful insight might lead to a more honest gaming community. Maybe fear is the way to sportsmanship?

One day we might look back at this first era of online Smallworld as the time when people would naively quit their Smallworld games without any idea of the consequences In his writings, Dante gives us no indication about the possibility of a more sportsmanship-like future for the online version of Smallworld. Only time can tell.

See you out there fellow gamers.

/Jrep

Remarks.
* In his work, Dante clearly states that there will be no In app purchase that can fix your situation once you ended up in hell.

* Theres indications that the next update will contain information about Dante's work in the rulebook.
      
Jabooty_3
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Re:The Act of Quitting Sat, 26 October 2013 04:28
Okay... I read the whole thing on the off chance there was any real content in there.
      
rasmussen81
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Re:The Act of Quitting Sat, 26 October 2013 07:35
Jabooty_3 wrote on Sat, 26 October 2013 06:28

Okay... I read the whole thing on the off chance there was any real content in there.


And was there? Rolling Eyes
      
Jabooty_3
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Re:The Act of Quitting Sat, 26 October 2013 07:37
I thought the asterisks at the end held potential, but no
      
Proto Persona
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Re:The Act of Quitting Sat, 26 October 2013 22:50
Goodness, we're serious business on the DoW forums it seems. OP, maybe post that over at BoardGameGeek too? Might get a few chuckles there too.
      
AngryMarine
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Re:The Act of Quitting Sun, 27 October 2013 16:55
In Russia we say: "In every joke there is a share of joking."

[Mis à jour le: Sun, 27 October 2013 22:35]

      
graham_butters
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Re:The Act of Quitting Mon, 28 October 2013 06:35
I personally love dark intellectual humor and found this hilarious although a bit long winded. Well done.
      
DAC cazaron
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Re:The Act of Quitting Wed, 30 October 2013 00:24
I think the points you raised were interesting... But my goodness man, think of what you could have done in the time it took you to write this up.
      
AngryMarine
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Re:The Act of Quitting Wed, 30 October 2013 11:35
Quote:

But my goodness man, think of what you could have done in the time it took you to write this up.

This kind of suggestions always puzzles me. If a man enjoys writing, he has thoughts and he is eager to share his point of view, why should he be doing something else???

"My perfect day is sitting in a room with blank paper. That is heaven. That is gold; anything else is just a waste of time." - Cormac McCarthy

[Mis à jour le: Wed, 30 October 2013 17:39]

      
DAC cazaron
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Re:The Act of Quitting Thu, 31 October 2013 03:45
AngryMarine wrote on Wed, 30 October 2013 06:35

Quote:

But my goodness man, think of what you could have done in the time it took you to write this up.

This kind of suggestions always puzzles me. If a man enjoys writing, he has thoughts and he is eager to share his point of view, why should he be doing something else???

"My perfect day is sitting in a room with blank paper. That is heaven. That is gold; anything else is just a waste of time." - Cormac McCarthy


I don't disagree, and that's why I took the points he made as interesting. They certainly were thought provoking and presented in an amusing and light hearted manner.
My comment was made only to suggest, also light heartedly that this looks like it had so much time invested in it, he could have spent that time playing SmallWorld!
      
alexey.talan
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Re:The Act of Quitting Tue, 24 December 2013 13:40
Started 4 games. In all 2-3 players gone offline on turn 1.
Started duel - the same story.
It seems the game is playable only with buddies.

[Mis à jour le: Tue, 24 December 2013 14:08]

      
    
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