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*player383259
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Some inconvenient truths about me Wed, 21 January 2009 21:21
Dear TTR Community!

2009 has arrived and it is time to put some good propositions for the new year into practice.

It is finally time for some inconvenient truths about me that I present to this community to judge me.

1.) My behaviour

I do not have to mention incidents when I had a go at someone in the lobby or during a game or about some other "Monstar-Drama". Most of you will have witnessed (or experienced) it themselves.

In the past I have not only insulted or provoked TTR-players that i barely knew, but also good friends of mine. I have created a path of destruction that will be difficult to "clean up" again. I have often been self-righteous and stubborn.

Many know about my weaknesses and mistakes. Few know about my good qualities. And I admit that this is predominantly my fault.

I would like to issue my sincerest apologies to all whom I have hurt or infuriated during the last months.


2.) Obsession and cheating

In the summer of 2008 the idea struck me that I could try to reach the top-ranking on a map of my choice. As the EU-Map appealed to me very much as I am one of the (few) people who supports the idea of stations and who likes the excitement of risking a tunnel-crash when not having too many locos left to be on the "safe" side.

Till the end of July I improved a lot on the map and made it to the EU Top 10. However, from then on progress was not so easy any longer and I got quite frustrated from the constant setbacks. I felt like Sysyphus (sorry mate to use your name here) of the ancient greek mythology who tries to move a huge boulder to the top of a mountain and when he is almost there the boulder cant be controlled by him any longer and rolls down the mountain....and so he has to try again...and again...and again...

My frustration grew and my ambition turned into an obsession step by step. This feeling was fueled by snide remarks from people who were happy that I made so little progress...one of them was Truckerteller who did and does behave quite arrogantly at times.

I reached the point where any means seemed to be suitable to reach my ultimate goal and to especially teach Truckerteller a lesson. I used my 2nd account with the name of "Transsibirienexpress" - which I created earlier to save my name Monstarmaster during times where I want or when I have to rename my proper account (e.g. during the NC) - to spy on Truckerteller in 5 open 2pl games at the beginning of August. I won these 5 games...2 of them I would not have won without cheating.

Furthermore, I spied on 3 games which I played against psteinx - appeasing myself with the argument that I just spy on him to see where he might be able to block me (according to his available colours) and not because I wanted to block him from his destinations - but still it was cheating.

To make it short, my good friend Robin Hood observed 2 or 3 of the "Truckerteller" games and confronted me afterwards in a private chat about the suspicious games. First, I denied to have been cheating on Truckerteller. But after he pushed the matter I admitted to have done it. We agreed that there has to be a punishment for my misbehaviour.


JUST to clarify this: I have never cheated in a tournament. I think my results there speak for themselves.


3.) Making up for my cheating

I agreed to lose twice as many games against Truckerteller and psteinx in the future than I won against them while cheating. This I did in the following weeks - including games in September - while still complaining about my losses because of bad luck concerning tickets and locos to not raise any suspicions about 9 or 10 defeats in a row. Furthermore, I agreed to lower my overall score from 1650 to 1400 and my EU score from top 5 to rank 150. I did this as well in the following weeks. Some of you might remember my sudden "downfall" in the mid / end of August 2008 (otherwise please check my history).

This was the end of my short "cheating career". I further decided to only open closed 2pl games from now on...even though the vast majority of people who join my "open for everybody with 5 karma 2pl games" is lower-ranked than me anyways.


4.) End of a long journey to the top

However, from mid-September I decided to have another go for the top EU position without cheating any longer. A few days ago I finally saw my chance as Angel6 (1972 points) dropped out of the ranking due to inactiveness. The top position was only 25 points away. On the following day I contacted my friend Sysyphus and asked him to play a few EU games with me...he is fairly ranked and I can gain 3 to 4 points when winning against him while only winning 0.5 points per game when winning against a rookie.

But things went unlucky for me in these games. I lost 3 out of 5 games against him so that my EU score decreased instead of increasing. I was in a bad mood anyways (having a hangover from having drunk alcohol at a party the day before) and went berserk at the end of the last game while even asking him to leave the game so that at least the 5th game will not count against me. He was very right NOT to agree to my crazy request...But this incidence shows again how severe my obsession had become that I even have a go at one of my best and most loyal friends here only to keep my score...

To make it short. I concentrated a lot during the last 2 days in my 2pl games (even making notes once in a while). That s why I won the vast amount of games against rookies, medium and top players earning myself the needed 30 points.

So it is done now.

I have finally reached the top in the EU ranking (even though this has to do as well with Angel6's inactiveness concerning the EU map during the last 2 weeks).

But am I happy now?

Not really! Too many glass has been shattered on my way to the top and this victory is not sweet at all, but rather bitter.

Well, I am nevertheless relieved. I am one of those persons who cannot accept not reaching their (realistic) goals. And not getting beyond 1956 EU points in December when Angel6 had 1970 was really frustrating for me. I feel that a heavy burden has been taken from my shoulders now...I finally feel (a bit) relaxed. It is time for me to try to have a bit more fun on TTR regardless of my score.

May my "journey" be a warning for all who get so winded up in this game that their score becomes more important to them than their (online) friendships...


5.) New name -Dennis-

All in all, Monstarmaster has caused enough trouble. I have come to the conclusion that some radical CHANGE has to be done (like it is happening in the USA at the moment). That s why I want to change my nickname to my real first name...Dennis is likeable in real life. The online monstarmaster usually was not. In the following days I will change my name to "-Dennis-". Unfortunately the accounts "Dennis" and "DENNIS" were not any longer available.


6.) Your decision

I would like to apologize to Truckerteller and psteinx for the mentioned games where I cheated on them. No frustration whatsoever can justify cheating. It was the ultimate surrender of my ethic standards to my pathological obsession....happening to me as a person who studied law and would like to work as a prosecutor or a judge in the future. I have neglected the rules of fairness for my own selfish benefit. I am guilty. This is the truth.

Ok. I have "atoned" for my cheating behaviour as described above. But it is not for me to decide whether this is enough or not...it is for you to decide. I can only ask for your forgiveness.

It was not easy for me to write this post. But now I feel relieved. Just going on as usual was no alternative. I would like a new start. If this community is unable or unwilling to grant me this new start I will have to leave. In this case I would like to say farewell to all who knew me (including my good qualities) and I would like to state that it was a pleasure to have had the privilege of knowing and playing you.


Bye for now

Monstarmaster (future -Dennis-)

PS: I will never deny having been Monstarmaster. So if you want to address me with mm/MM or Mon in the future it will be ok. Still you might reconsider that as there has been enough confusion already in the lobby because Mary Mary and Miguel Marquez are addressed with the acronym mm/MM sometimes as well.

[Mis à jour le: Wed, 21 January 2009 21:47]

      
AGT-Technikerin
Senior Member
Cadet

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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Wed, 21 January 2009 23:10
Hihi,

hat Mudda noch nicht entdeckt, das das zweimal da ist.

Das wäre mir ganz ehrlich selbst auf deutsch viel zuviel Text.

to much text
      
the aceman
Senior Member

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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Wed, 21 January 2009 23:48
i say we ban this monstarmaster forever!!!!!!!!

hahaha jk buddy

takes great courage to come out of the closet.

GRATS -dennis-

youre so dope!!
      
Colo
Senior Member

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June 2007
Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Thu, 22 January 2009 00:28
Shame on you monstar!

Respect for your post and decision to change. Still only that would not be enough in my opinion. As a student of law you sure understand, that choosing your own punishment is not common sense. Lets have a look at sports: "poor" cyclist Erik Zabel, he even had tears in his eyes when coming out about doping. I would have banned him for lifetime. What does DoW say? How were other cheaters treated earlier? Downgrade to 1200? While you say you did never cheat in tournaments: I say no respect for any past achievement. Including EU "no.1", qualifying for Devision E ...

After some sort of (official) punishment - and only after that - I for one would give Dennis a second (cough, did I really say second?) chance. Thats for this online game. In job-related real life or as an advocat I would not. And as a person ... I dont like beeing insulted, not by monstar nor by Dennis nor by anyone.

0.02
Colo

[Mis à jour le: Thu, 22 January 2009 00:30]

      
*player383259
Senior Member

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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Thu, 22 January 2009 00:52
You are entitled to think that way, Colo.

However, 1400 points is the start for any new account as far as I know....so my punishment was related to that. And to work my way up from place 150 in the EU ranking was at least as hard as starting a complete new account and having a go for the top with that one. Therefore my current rank in EU (not when it comes to my insulting behaviour as I mentioned - but when it comes to pure playing skill) is deserved and was achieved by fair means.

Banning me from Division E is an option even though I never cheated in a tournament as I told you and as the facts will show. If this punishment is executed, however, I would suggest that a few other players might be excluded from future tournaments as well. Zimo might give you some names...

I want to stress that I deliberately chose to write this post. Unlike others I do not just sign a "Decleration of Honour" or some other ridiculous document that guarantees and says nothing. Soon you will find people signing this very decleration whom you suspect of cheating for a long time. I think I am more honest here.

BTW Colo, in 100% of my EU games during the last months I played closed and in 99% of the cases the people I played were lower ranked than me...so far about the suspicion that I might have continued cheating...

However, as I knew from the very start, this post will mean trouble for me. But it was the right thing to do.

In real life I do not need to break the rules or play dirtily. I have enough money for a living and will (probably) get a decent job in the future. So no worries about my lawful behaviour there, Colo.

Bye for now

Dennis

[Mis à jour le: Thu, 22 January 2009 00:55]

      
Sysyphus
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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Thu, 22 January 2009 02:17
Some inconvenient truths : ok but there are still facts that they are not written there in your post. The fact that you didn't tell all the truth (because there are facts that they're not revealed in your post) is far from being a proof of a change...

I'm glad you want a radical change, but we (Melinda, Robin and maybe others)have tried hard to help you for more than half a year... We never posted about you and your behaviour before, trusting you and hoping for better days. You promised us a hundred time to change and you want, now you're n°1 and you make your dream real, that all ttr have to forgive you for your behaviour. Why didn't you make it before ? Fear of never be n°1 ? Think things are not that simple...


[Mis à jour le: Thu, 22 January 2009 02:29]

      
Mary Mary
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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Thu, 22 January 2009 03:08
So you are apologizing to everyone? Or do you have a list of names? Maybe i'm not in that list but for several times i was insulted. Your friends that were your friends kept saying you were nice sometimes and that's why i kept always playing with you. Yes, sometimes you were nice, and sometimes we laughed. But most of the times you simple insulted. More insults and phew nice words. And now i forget because you make a post? I forget that you insulted my friends in the lobby and in the games? I forget that you insulted me and said to be quiet several times? Now you are number 1 and we should say grats when you don't even deserve it? And should we apologize you when you enter our games without being asked and knowing that we invited somebody else? Or when you simple don't leave and you start to whine?

Many many times i lost my temper with you, like so many other players. But still i played with you because hope is the last thing to die. But for the last 2 weeks i didn't play with you or talk because i quit. You promissed for many many times to change and never did. Why should we trust you now? Because you are number 1 in europe? Not a strong arguement. Should you just drop to 1200 points? And then what? When you are back in 1500 you can join the games and start to insult? Well, i simple don't believe in you.

Yes, everyone deserves a second chance, but you had many chances, over and over again. Is this your redemptation? Well truth isn't earned by a simple post. People don't forget all these months that passed. I'm new in this game comparing to most of top players but i know enough.

Are you sure you just cheated in those games? Well, it's not my part and i'm not talking about that.

This can be a very sincere post but the whole truth is not here. Maybe it needed 3 pages of the forum but i'm sure people would read it like i did.

Many people tried to be nice with you and many tried to forget. But when it's always the same thing people just have enough and quit. I gave you lots of opportunities, many people asked me why i kept playing with you but i now say "not anymore" like i did before. You can be nice to me in the lobby and i'll be polite like my parents teached me but nor more nor less. Just a simple hi or grats and nothing more. I'll avoid your games and hope you'll avoid mine.

Trust is not granted is earned and i lost mine in you. To trust you again it will take more months then the months you insulted me. And last but not least, i won't forgive you for insulting my friends, specially Tyrana and Sysy. Calling rude and idiot to Sysy the other day in the lobby was the last drop. And friends are not measure by the time we know them, it's measure by what we feel, say, show and give. And specially the sweetest person i met in ttr, she didn't deserve anything, she's has a huge heart and always nice to people. And if you don't know i'll tell you with all the letters: TYRANA...

Nothing more to say, i say goodbye and wish that you find your path...
      
JohnM
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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Thu, 22 January 2009 07:35
-Dennis-

Lawyers are - and should be - held to the highest standard of ethical behaviour in their professional life but also in their private life. It is one of the costs of the privileges that come with being a lawyer.

If it were up to me I would give you a one month suspension from the game and then one final chance. Any further misconduct would result in a life-time ban.

There are many people that you should apologise to - this does not need to be done publically but should -in my view -be done.

Your post took courage and is a good first step.

John
      
AAA_Pammes
Senior Member

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December 2004
Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Thu, 22 January 2009 07:58
Dear Dennis,

you have my high respect for your post and your wanted change of behavior
as i preach in my church - repentance is the beginning of change and forgiveness
on the other hand you know as well as me that only the future - your future behavior - your future deeds - can show if its just a mayfly or if you really want to change.
Only you alone know which people you really insulted and which friends you lost through your behavior.

I think it would be useful for you not to only put that post here but also to think about all the people you insulted and look for things to get back the respect you lost by them, but also to respect their anger and unhappiness with you. You have to live with it, even if its not fun, when people decided to quit contact with you because of the past unless they change their mind.

Since we dont know each other very well, there was never a change you could insult me (i can only be insulted by people i care about and up to now i did not care about you) but i know you insulted people i deeply care about.

You have my respect for your post. And I would be happy if one year from now the community and the people here see you in a different/better way as they do now.
I hope for that and wish you the best for it
Greetings
Pammes

[Mis à jour le: Thu, 22 January 2009 08:04]

      
Truckerteller
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Chef de train, Niveau 1

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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Thu, 22 January 2009 09:57
The quarterly appology by Monstarmaster, juicier than ever.

But let us reflect on the motives...

"good propositions"
"great courage"
"respect for your post"
"high respect"
"repentance"

I think not. After alianating even those that sticked with you the longest, we have here a last attempt to regain some credibility.

* This "coming out" was written AFTER Tyrana had exposed your cheating in the lobby", so nothing more than damage control

* You "punish" yourself ONLY after being exposed by your friends

* Open appologies only follow after open/forum critique, like accusing me of cheating, having Erps loose his temper, or being completely roasted in the lobby by all your "friends"

* And yet again, like all appologies, they contain some attempt to justify your behaviour. "Truckerteller is so arrogant, I had to teach him a lesson"

* As Sysyphus rightly pointed out, this post contains only part of the truth, more incriminating stuff you have left out. Why? Because those things haven't been mentioned in the lobby or in the forum. Twisting the truth and leaving out half the things and making a "respectable" case for yourself, you've learned that in law school I reckon?

How do we know what is the truth, if you have cheated more, if this is yet another new start?

I've played nearly 100 games with you last year, have endured loads and loads of crap, and was patient for a very long time. But after you flamed Erps, I learned about your cheating from Tyrana, you started going on about concentration camps in the lobby, I decided never to play you again.

You're an egocentric abusive cheating little weasel.
This post was only written because there was no other way.
Please leave and never come back.

And for your first place in Europe, well...
Playing only weak players and asking them to abort when your connection is bad , i.e. your tix and locos are bad, I consider that cheating as well. If you even ask your friends to abort, what about those 9 wins vs. Ace?

I wish you a good new start in another life.
Goodbye,
Truckerteller







      
Robin Hood
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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Thu, 22 January 2009 10:48
Le message n'a pas de contenu

[Mis à jour le: Tue, 28 April 2009 04:54]

      
Nemo_
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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Thu, 22 January 2009 11:15
Dennis,

you say that this post was sign of couragement, I dont think so.
It only tells facts that were already known. I could say, that this was last minute confession before worse.

Also, I see that because you tell things openly, you want some kind of symphaty, telling how hard it was...

Your post had 10% apologies and 90% about your hard fight, endless battle against cruel rank system of TTR.

"This hard was so hard, I lost myself and many friends because of it, but now its done, RANK 1"

Sniff, almost like a movie, a true story of a battle of 1 man, who is only a human...Hey wait a minute, we are talking about Adult (who is lawyer, guess all know it know already), real friendships and a game which is only code in Internet! I dont see a reason.

Rank 1 means 0, if there are not people who are cheering and gratsing you for it.

Also seems kind of crazy, that you confess this all just after you got rank 1! Can you now sleep well even you would lose points?

And about apologizes, you forget so many people. Even you say so, you just didnt cheat and nothing else.
You seemed to have problems with everyone.
So many times you critisised my way to play ttr "Why you dont play multis, are you afraid of points?"
"Why not risking?"

You seemed to want hear, that other lose points in multi, because you also do. If I understand german at all, few days ago you were also asking from Schwen, why he doesnt play multi.
"You play multis only with 1700+ players, loool"
So what? If he has payed from his game time, I guess no one can say how to use it.

You also whined about blocking to many players, we even have that topic there from a ~1400 player, who was confused because a "top" player got pissed to him after blocking.

You even sometimes seemed to have problems with GOF, even it has nothing to do with Eu rank.

You even acted unpolitely in world league games, you cannot say its all because of eu rank stress!

Also you had that idea in your head, that you have bad reputation becuase players like me, Juuco and Tyrana. I can say, that I at least didnt make it better, but mate, you digged your own grave here. And from the beginning, all I heard was, that people defended you, and said that you are actually nice, mostly Tyrana...And now...you made the sweetest player here in ttr angry to you, I dont know why, and I dont even want to know.

Also sometimes you seem to be more or less desperate, like few days ago in lobby in a conversation with Tyrana. It went about like this:

Tyrana: "mm, never talk to me here"
mm: "Not even hi?"
"Do not talk to me or join to my games"
"Why you are so rude"
"Dont talk me about rudeness. And pls, dont join my games"
"Why not, if those are open games, and you are not starter, I will join, and its hard becuase you are in so many multis"

WHY? Why you want to tease a person, who obviesly doesnt want to have nothing to do with you?

I dont even think, that its possible to make a change, because you dont even seem to realize what have you done, and that it is wrong.


EDIT: mm, I have nothing to say to you, in lobby, games or forum.

gl for the rest of your life,

z

[Mis à jour le: Sun, 25 January 2009 14:21]

      
Nayeli
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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Thu, 22 January 2009 13:22
About change:

"Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change."
(Confucius)

About friendship:

"Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything."
(Muhammad Ali)

AND....

"The only way to have a friend is to be one!"
(Ralph Waldo Emerson)



      
Juuco
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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Thu, 22 January 2009 15:11
LOL x many ... and then some

Many lawyers (and law students) have a strange idea of the world and of social relationships in general.

They see it like "one is a friend untill PROVEN unfriendly".

And in most cases in real life it is however more like "one is neutral/unfriendly until proven friendly".

The first impression is VERY important and maybe can not be viped away ever. Especially if the other one has alternative relationships to choose. In this case there are some 5000+ other possible choices to have fun with in TTR.

From my point of view I rather try my luck there in the future when I decide how and with who to spend my free time.

There were some 3 - 5 players in TTR I will not voluntarily play with. Now there is one more.

Juuco


















      
Sysyphus
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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Thu, 22 January 2009 17:31
Please really consider what Mary and Trucker are saying. I fully agree with them.
Public apologizes are really needed to the ones who were really hurt .Because of your continuous insults and bad behavior, they couldn't even find pleasure to be in ttr because of you. You stole them great and numerous moments of happiness to be shared with friends because you were simply on ttr. You do know those persons and you do have to apologise. (and I don't tell you about 3nzo or Me in a memorable 4 pl. Eu with Valkama... Rolling Eyes cause we, at least 3nzo and me, were Laughing just because we have the chance to not care about that). To have friends who defended or helped you didn't allow you these kinds of behaviours...

And please don't think that a hug at the end of a game makes sweeties forget about all what happened...

[Mis à jour le: Thu, 22 January 2009 17:31]

      
*player383259
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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Thu, 22 January 2009 18:08
The truth is that I cheated in a few games!

The truth is that I made fun of Erps in a tournament game which should not have been done , nothing less and nothing more!

The truth is that I insulted one of my best friends, Sysyphus, and I am very sorry for it which I already wrote to him personally! Nothing more will be said here!

The truth is that even though other players are strongly suspected to have been cheating they do not even answer questions that are posed in the forum and have not to deal with any consequences so far!

The truth is that I played a few games against a friend (aceman) recently which I won...actually I won 8 and lost 1 game. I am the more experienced player on the EU map so this should be easily possible!
Besides, Truckerteller, you won 5 games in a row against Wonderbere, 4 against (the very good player) Dizz and 8 against Fehe during the last weeks in 2 pl EU. So, in my case, winning a few games in a row against another player (who might be less experienced and has a far lower map ranking) proves nothing at all. This argumentation is simply not fair.

The truth is that every time I enlisted a chain of names in a thread this was criticized or someone felt left out who should have been mentioned as well. Every player whom I mistreated will be contacted by me personally either in a closed game or via pm. I insulted players individually not collectively so my apology should be issued individually and not collectively. After all, a personal apology is personal!

Dennis

[Mis à jour le: Thu, 22 January 2009 18:11]

      
TIC wasdenn
Senior Member

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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Thu, 22 January 2009 18:17
Mary, John, Trucker, Sysphus and the others said most of what there is to say.
But one more thing to you, Monstar:

You owe ALL the people you hurt apologies, given with true repentence, not the apparently insincere thing you gave, and you owe them honourable behaviour, which includes leaving people alone who won't have to do anything with you any longer. You hurt them. They matter, you don't, in this case.

They don't owe you anything. Don't expect that the wounds you dealt out freely are healed with an apology, nor that they will ever heal. Bands of friendship can be severed and you did everything to achieve that. That is your burdon to bear, and it should be a burdon for you.

Best way for you would be to leave TTR, my opinion.

As Trucker put it:

I wish you a good new start in another life.
Goodbye,
wasdenn


      
*player383259
Senior Member

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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Thu, 22 January 2009 18:26
Your first points are valid, wasdenn.

Your conclusion is not. Noone will see my change if I simply leave this world of TTR immediately. I will probably not play so frequently any longer, but I will not just leave while leaving everybody behind with an only negative image of me...this would be a bit too simple for all. The "easy" path was never the path favored by me.

Dennis
      
Mary Mary
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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Thu, 22 January 2009 19:34
The "easy" path was never favored to you because you made all what you can did to destroy that. Bad image? Of course we do have that, you made it, it's not our fault. We want peace? Yes, we have that right. True friends? You need to find in a dictionary for that word. You cause a lot of damage. I was your friend since the beggining and i quit 2 weeks ago. Did you ever consider me your friend? Never, and don't tell you did because in gof one time you told me that. Should i be nice now? No, just polite and nothing more.

I'm not going to say the same things again but you want now that everyone will be nice to you. And writing what you deserve or not it's not for you to decide. We are not being harsh, we are simple trying to be fair. This is a game and it is supposed to be fun, what we play and how, it only concerns to us. Sometimes we are happy, sometimes frustrated and even sometimes we are sad. But never ever should we blame others or start to whine or bother everyone. Many many times you said you were not happy and didn't know what it was. Well, now it's time to find that hapiness and you won't find in ttr.

You will always be remembered, for a long long time everybody will remember you. But for the wrong reasons... I'm not sorry at all about this, you achieved it all by yourself. Courage is not to write a post, courage is to face the consequences. And if you are banned forever that will be your consequence. People won't trust you for the next months, maybe never... That's another consequence. And you did all by yourself...
      
Goscha
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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Thu, 22 January 2009 19:38
http://tjarksen.de/misc/bartmm.gif
      
V a l
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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Thu, 22 January 2009 20:08
Good one Goscha! Laughing

[Mis à jour le: Thu, 22 January 2009 20:09]

      
dea1
Senior Member
Vainqueur Nation Cup AdR 2007

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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Thu, 22 January 2009 21:59
Care about my 2 cents? If not, don't read on Smile

One post with public repentance is not enough - because in fact it doesn't really do those who have been hurt and/or are fed up any good

A life sentence it too much - I believe that people can change and they should be given a chance

What can there be in between?
Well, as you acted clearly below average standards (as you admit) in the last year, you should make up for it by acting clearly above average standards in the next.

So here comes Monstar's code of conduct (an addendum to the declaration of honour).
Sign it, live it to a maximum in the next months!
Maybe some other readers will/can/should derive some new year's propositions for themselves, too Rolling Eyes
(and no, I do not claim that I would meet all of that myself)

*) I will not insult anyone knowingly (and remove words like 'stupid', 'idiot', etc from my vocabulary)
*) If someone feels insulted by me and I don't understand why, I will politely ask for explanation and listen to it without talking back
*) I will not comment on other peoples play (unless they ask me to)
*) I will not complain in any way about missing locos, bad tickets, not starting, bad suits, incredible luck of opponents and the like
*) I will honestly congratulate my opponents to their wins even when I think the win is due to any of the above
*) I will not talk big about my TTR achievements (like being #1 in EU) and my skills in this game
*) I will not urge people to play/talk with me if they don't want to
*) I will not defend myself by pointing at things, others do wrong
*) whatever others may add

Yes, that will be hard - but possible - and you said you didn't favour the easy path.
And that will really help everyone involved.
      
*player277410
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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Thu, 22 January 2009 22:28
Monsta,

For your own good, you should seek help.
      
onyx puffin LOL
Senior Member

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January 2005
Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Thu, 22 January 2009 22:39
I still am not sure what all I want to say and will re-visit this eventually. But one thing that was again in really poor judgment was how psteinx heard about this. Was it from Dennis? No. It was from a player who was playing a multi with psteinx, myself, and others. "Did you read the new thread?" Each of us said no. So how repentant is it exactly? One of those you wronged did not hear directly from you! Has he yet heard from Dennis?

Then there is the aspect that this cheating seems to have occurred while you served on a USA NC team. We graciously, though hesitantly, accepted you as a German living in the US during the NC. And this is how you represent that team? You cheat, and cheat even on a fellow teammate? Sad

[Mis à jour le: Thu, 22 January 2009 22:40]

      
*player383259
Senior Member

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October 2007
Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Fri, 23 January 2009 08:15
Dear Dea,

I will accept your code of honour proposition if this is supported by other players as well. It will be hard, but I think I can do it.

Dennis

Dear onyx puffin,

I cheated on psteinx in August and not in September! The NC did not start before September if I recall correctly.

Furthermore, I did NOT cheat in the NC...I won very closely against TRUE Tic as you and him will remember. And the most important thing: I WAS HIGHER RANKED THAN BOTH MY NC OPPONENTS AT THE TIME I PLAYED AGAINST THEM....this goes for TRUE Tic and for Swissli.

So doubting my fairness in the NC is not fair at all as there was not even a possibility for me to cheat there...besides I had SEA NY and Van Mon in one of the games against TRUE Tic. Baron will remember that...If I cannot win with these tickets, I do not know which game to win at all.

I have only written a pm to Phil/psteinx today. I know that he is not online that frequently and I wanted him to read this post first. Additionally, I have been writing individual apologies to quite some people now. I need time to write to everyone as you can imagine. I am not writing some kind of "standard apology" to everyone. But he got his pm already by now I presume.

Greetings

Dennis

[Mis à jour le: Fri, 23 January 2009 08:16]

      
*player396123
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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Fri, 23 January 2009 09:21

[Mis à jour le: Fri, 13 March 2009 14:25]

      
*player396123
Senior Member

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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Fri, 23 January 2009 09:22

[Mis à jour le: Fri, 13 March 2009 14:24]

      
psteinx
Senior Member

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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Fri, 23 January 2009 17:11
Dennis has sent me an apology for his actions and his behavior. I regard it as a sincere apology, and have accepted it and forgiven him (for his behavior and cheating towards me).

I do not know if Dennis, should he stick around, will truly reform his behavior (he has said he would in the past, but not stuck with it). Still, I am willing to give him another chance, and to play with him in the future.

I have made some further comments directly to Dennis. One comment that I see here and agree with (and have suggested to Dennis in the past), is that he seek outside help for whatever ails him.

[Mis à jour le: Fri, 23 January 2009 17:29]

      
ACP Miguel
Senior Member
Vainqueur Swiss Map Championship AdR 2011

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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Sat, 24 January 2009 18:30
above TTR i think there are values that u should respect and to place your mind in right track maybe just leave TTR for a while seek professional help (i'm sure u need it) and then maybe one day u are back in order to play and be a trully member of this great community.

Meanwhile dont spoill more the game, cause i'm almost sure that many users that had so much trust in all competitive players are now having 2nd doubts. Games will be closed more often, the pleasure of playing and watching will be lower, so just dropp this game and community for a while. It would be the best way to start over (for all of us and specially for you)

Hope u get your head straight

      
Tyrana
Senior Member

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August 2007
Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Sat, 24 January 2009 19:22
Tyrana wrote on Sat, 24 January 2009 13:02

I will quote Monstarmaster/Dennis

"Judge me for what I DO...and NOT for what i SAY!" Shocked

hummmm... what is the difference? Rolling Eyes

Pom Poms wavin! Very Happy


(Repeat post from Div E - btw you might care to read that thread also)
      
*player383259
Senior Member

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October 2007
Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Sun, 25 January 2009 03:01
The difference, Tyrana, is:

Yes, I did wrongly in the past...and you are right to judge me there.

But everyone who asked me for my help in the past got it. Be it concerning game strategy, concerning sending cakes to others or whatever; or just an invitation to my home to play a tourney including barbequue. Seeing only the negative things is not in compliance with a neutral analysis. The "pro" is missing very often while the "contra" is always there... but of course it is easier to divide the world into "black" and "white"...

I do not say that the "pro" can be used as a justification for the "contra"...far away from it...but if you ask for the general difference you have to see the whole picture and not just one fragment.


[Mis à jour le: Sun, 25 January 2009 03:05]

      
FLOP Hecki
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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Sun, 25 January 2009 04:28
Für unsere nicht ganz so englischkundigen Freunde verweise ich mal auf Dennis' deutschen Thread:

http://www.daysofwonder.com/de/msg/?th=16286&start=0

(the same discussion for our german spectators; it was easier for me to answer there; thanks for your understanding Rolling Eyes )
      
AAA_Pammes
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December 2004
Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Sun, 25 January 2009 08:37
-Dennis- schrieb am Fri, 23 January 2009 08:15

Dear Dea,

I will accept your code of honour proposition if this is supported by other players as well. It will be hard, but I think I can do it.

Dennis



why only if its supported by other players as well?

if its a help:
i support that proposition even if i am not players but just one player

      
Truckerteller
Senior Member
Chef de train, Niveau 1

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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Sun, 25 January 2009 13:30
MM quotes:

A. "I would like a new start. If this community is unable or unwilling to grant me this new start I will have to leave. In this case I would like to say farewell "

B. "Noone will see my change if I simply leave this world of TTR immediately. I will probably not play so frequently any longer, but I will not just leave while leaving everybody behind with an only negative image of me...this would be a bit too simple for all"


All other stuff has been written best by Hecki already.
Unfortunately for most, in German.

[Mis à jour le: Sun, 25 January 2009 22:48]

      
Nemo_
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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Sun, 25 January 2009 14:23
Dennis, you said you will accept any decision:

"I would like a new start. If this community is unable or unwilling to grant me this new start I will have to leave. In this case I would like to say farewell "

Now you see, people think you should leave and get seriously help.
Now its time to do what you promised, leave this community, please.

z
      
Blizzard7
Junior Member

Messages: 19
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January 2006
Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Mon, 26 January 2009 03:55
OMG Mad ROFL Evil or Very Mad LOL Twisted Evil and CO Rolling Eyes

I was now 4 weeks away because of school. When I began to read this thread I thought at first it is a joke !!! In my opinion you are the most ridiculous person in this community. I respect your decision to make your "cheating" public but for me it`s the biggest offending, a player could do. I think you have really unsolveable mental problems, where only a doctor could help. Now I could explain myself, why you played a lot of games closed. I think these games you told about were not the only ones cheated by you. There are a lot of more ... In German i would told people like you "Pflegefälle" or said in English: attendance. I have no problems, if you play tournaments in the future, but my proposal is to bann you from the tournaments or only let you play closed games in tournaments, until you prooved for a long period, that you have a good behaviour. For sure you made the first step with signing the "contract" made by dea. Another proposal is that you are looking for another online games like "What should my Baby wear today" or something like this. A game without adversarys and more easy than Ticket to ride. Confused Confused Confused Confused
http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w100/liknthedirt15/cheater-1.jpg
      
*player396123
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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Tue, 27 January 2009 00:20

[Mis à jour le: Fri, 13 March 2009 14:24]

      
ACP Miguel
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Vainqueur Swiss Map Championship AdR 2011

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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Tue, 27 January 2009 00:31


[Mis à jour le: Tue, 27 January 2009 00:36]

      
*player396123
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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Tue, 27 January 2009 00:43

[Mis à jour le: Fri, 13 March 2009 14:24]

      
2Cutter
Member

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Re:Some inconvenient truths about me Tue, 27 January 2009 00:59
I never, really NEVER, read such a bullshit in my whole life.
      
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